Getting Back to Your STYLE After Motherhood

As we’ve expressed before, our style is timeless and constantly evolving. As style reflects our daily lifestyle it can also go as deep as heritage and religion. Whether your profession requires a fine-toned professional look, or laid-back and casual, your wardrobe could shift drastically when you're introduced to the new responsibility of motherhood. 

Motherhood changes you emotionally, mentally, and of course physically. But there’s one change that isn’t discussed too often: the change stylistically. Many women run from these changes and see it as a setback or a burden. However, embracing this journey's good and bad can make the responsibility and experience so much more gratifying. The key to conquering this new step in life is preparing for the wild road ahead with love, positivity, and optimism. This exclusive interview with Alexandria Alli designer and founder of F&W style, is for all the mothers embracing the power that is motherhood. 

 While pregnant with your oldest child Alina, did you ever have any insecurities about how your style would be affected as a first-time mother?

I feel like any time you first have a baby, it’s like your whole world has changed. Some women feel like they have this new empowerment or are more sure of themselves. Some women have to redefine their style. For me, I felt more empowered, and I wanted something that said “Yes, I’m a mom but I'm still a boss and I’m still feminine.” I also had a sense of maturity that came on after I had my baby.

How exactly did your wardrobe mature after you had your first child?

My wardrobe matured because my mindset was like “You are more mature. You are a mom and a wife”. But I still wanted to take all of that in and define what my style would be. I know I wanted to still be girly, flirty, and fun but I also wanted to add sophistication to it. I started to discover black-owned brands that I loved and more designer brands that I enjoyed and fit my style. It was important that it was functional but also stylish. I needed something I could run around in but also still be myself.

Was there ever a time during your pregnancy when you were afraid of how your existing wardrobe would be affected and how did you pull yourself through it?

 I feel like anytime, especially through the pregnancy, because you're growing your style would definitely be limited. That was probably the hardest part because my clothing options were limited during those nine months to whatever I could find and would actually fit. Or even maternity clothes that weren’t that cute. So I would always offset whatever I was wearing with bags and that's around the time my journey started with designing and adding pops of color. Even though I couldn't wear a colorful outfit, my bag was always a statement bag and still told the story that I wanted about myself.

During the designing stage of your second collection, what story were you wanting to tell? 

I was trying to tell a story of what I believe women are. At that point in time, I was newly married, having a baby, still working full time, and starting a company. All of that put together helped me when starting F&W Style. The bag that I was designing for the collection, I wanted to be functional and empowering. I wanted it to be something that would bring life through all the struggles and trials that women have to go through. It was something that brought everything full circle to create something beautiful for women who were going through all the things that I was going through.

Can you go into detail about how your style and business changed with your second child?

By the time I had my second child, I was sure of myself and the audience that I wanted. I knew how I wanted them to feel and who I wanted to design for. I was also sure of my style, the things I loved, and what I wanted to wear. I knew what would fit my body well and I was more confident in the new body I had after having a baby. I also think that was reflected in my designs and it was just more elevated than it was prior.

There was also a lot of uncertainty because I was trying to transition from working full-time and having a business to just going straight into having a business. So being sure of myself was great but I needed to build my clientele at the same time. There was the uncertainty of leaving something that was actually providing me stable income to now doing it on my own where I did have that to fall back to. Plus I wanted to wear pink suits all day long rather than just gray and black and do more fashion-related things. I feel like starting the fashion brand gave me an option that I didn't really understand or knew existed before. So, once I saw the light, I saw that I had an option to really do something where I could be myself.

What advice would you give to moms who are afraid of taking a big step in life?

Recently I told my daughter when auditioning for a play at school that most of the time when we’re fearful of reaching a goal, it’s because of other people. When she considered that she had to be on stage in front of a bunch of people she almost backed out. You must be able to take what other people say out of it because most of the time we would do it anyway. Never let what people say get you too hot or too cold because it’s all projection. 

Thirteen years later, how have you evolved as a mother and as a designer?

I know my style is feminine and sophisticated but I’m still open to trying new things and leaving room to explore. I know my clientele very well and I know what they want to see. Also with my kids, they’re growing up and coming into their own.

What would be your advice to the women who may not feel empowered by motherhood right away and want things to return to how they were before?

You can’t live in the past and find joy in where you are right now and what could possibly happen in the future. Also, it is never too late. You can build whoever you want to be in this present moment. The happier you make yourself, the happier your kids will be. There are always going to be changes, so I encourage mothers of all ages that the only way to get back to yourself is to embrace the new version of yourself while staying true to what you always loved. Listen to yourself and do something every day to make yourself happy. You can’t be the last person on your mind.“I always do things afraid.”